I am back :)

So it is now Friday and it is basically a full on storm outside. I am in my new oodie and I fancied writing up my blog.

I have a few things on my mind and I need to get them out because I feel so over whelmed and maybe writing will help.

Let's start with how I am feeling. Right, I don't really know. I am so happy that I have handed everything for university, happy that I have a job so that I can pay the bills, happy that I am in a healthy relationship and happy that I will soon have an apartment I can call my own. Although, I am struggling with loving myself. I have some really good days and then days where I hit rock bottom for no reason. Nothing bad has to happen for these day, that is why when someone asks I kind freeze and I say nothing but there is genuinely nothing wrong I just feel upset. I feel abit better now that I have jotted it down and it is out of my system, down days are okay but I feel I can't be sad you know. Everyone kinda expects me to have a smile on my face all the time and behind this smiles especially recently I have been cracking.

Anyway, as you have probably noticed I have been vlogging instead of blogging recently. Although, this week I haven't been vlogging so a blog will have to do. I love writing and will continue writing but I feel as though vlogging will be more beneficial to my future. I have been thinking more and more about my future and I believe that one day I will start my own production company. I have been watching videos and reading alot of information on this and I feel as though I have enough determination in myself to do it.

Back to the actual blog. I have been working alot this week, so, if you didn't know I work in a place called Y Consti. It is situated north of Aberystwyth and is at the top of Constitution Hill, it is beautiful and I love working there. Although, for me 6 hours is a long time to be standing, but it pays the bills so I should stop complaining.

Also, I don't mean to toot my own horn but I had an assignment back this week and I got a first. I am just as shocked as you but I have been working hard and manifested it bby :::::::::))))))))))) I hope all my other assignments come back with a grade like that. I really have been working hard.

Also, I went out for the first time in years in a cropped top, if that isn't called progress then I don't know what is. But, this 'progress' can be shattered in seconds - I hate that I compare myself to others all the time. I want to be able to wear what I want without worrying if my tummy folds or if my spots are too big or if my stretch marks are on show. Maybe I am just having a down week.

I will catch up with you on Sunday and let you know how my weekend was.... Love you. x


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